Family patterns – Part 1 of a 3 part series

Until you are able to release and end the unconscious patterns you have inherited from your family, they will guide and mold everything in your life, from the relationships you have, the job you do, the amount of money you make, even how and when you die. If your family is a healed unit then this is a great thing for you but if your family carries unhealed ancestral trauma, it will continue to be passed down until someone steps forward to do
the healing and releasing work.

“We come as Baby Guru’s to heal our parents and the price we pay for not doing it is we become them.”

Leonard Orr (Founder of Rebirthing Breathwork)

As children we are sensitive to the truth and we begin to play out the unconscious and hidden thoughts and emotions of those
around us, in particular our parents. This behaviour is deemed inappropriate by our caregivers and we are disciplined and trained to hide, bury and deny the truth of our/their feelings.

We have choices in our family to either conform and accept the conditional love on offer or to rebel, the conformist child tends to become like the parent even to the extend that they will die around the same age perhaps of a similar illness, the rebellious child is the child who is seeking to break patterns, it is a difficult role to play and can end badly.

“Many new parents will report they were completely overwhelmed by the amount of love and emotion they felt towards their newborns. What is actually happening is the baby is plugging the parents back into and activating their own unconditional love, that they were born with – but had to deny and surrender in order to survive.
Unfortunately, this unconditional love has a shelf life. Around the age of two, this shelf life runs out. That is why is it called “The Terrible Twos”. The child is a reflection of the unfinished energy cycles of the parents. He/she will “act out” the parents suppressed thoughts and feelings. We tend to act us the denied parts of our parents.”

Pauline Win (Founder of Rebirthing Breathwork & author of The 7 Inhibitors to Bliss)

Hence begins the conditioning of our behaviour and the moulding of our personalities.

4 steps to break family patterns and find your way back to your authentic unconditional self?

  1. The first step is to recognise the parental or familial patterns that you have grown up with through deep self-enquiry

2. The second step is to be real about what happened in your past and in the history of you lineage, this step requires enquiry and
a willingness to reveal the truth, for some it means to stop protecting your family from the truth.

4. The fourth step is forgiveness, this step is misunderstood in many traditions, and forgivness in its purity is a desire to return to the state of being before the incident, in this case to your authentic unconditional self. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the person, people or situation that left you traumatised;
the release of the perpetrator/situation is a by-product of pure forgivness.

3. Then the third step is to feel the pain you felt when you had to shut yourself down in order to conform, this step can take a
while and it really needs to take as long as it takes, this step is best done with strong expert support from a teacher or mentor that you have complete trust in.

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